


Of Goggles and Wilting Flowers

by mira_las_estrellas



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: A general look at my own headcanons??, Bodhi-Centric, Flower Language, Gen, I just wanted to tell Bodhi's story, I love my soft brave pilot son, No Romance, Origin Story, Pre-Rogue One, canon character death, long fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-11-21 22:12:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11366682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mira_las_estrellas/pseuds/mira_las_estrellas
Summary: The Empire is slowly taking control of Jedha, and the children on the moon pretend everything is fine. They play and hide and maybe commit a minor crime or two. When Bodhi's mother falls ill, he joins their enemies out of necessity, abandoning his family and ideals in favor of survival.That is, until a man starts leaving flowers in his shuttle.





	1. Chapter 1

There were tourists in his neighbourhood.

Jedha City was always, and had always been, bustling with pilgrims, seeking spiritual solace at the shadow of the Temple of the Whills, or just tourists, curious to see the deserts, the tall dunes of sand and humonguous, ancient statues of the Jedi. They usually treaded on the main streets, bringing their business to the markets and the inns. Almost never on the claustrophobic side alleys where Bodhi lived, not in the filthier areas of the Holy City, where there was little to be found but the native civilians.

Now there were tourists in his neighbourhood and their shoes were amazingly white. Bodhi had no idea how they managed to walk through the streets of his home and not be afraid of tainting them with every step they took.

They threw him a glance. For some reason, he felt like he was the outsider. In the streets of his own home, his shoes were way too filthy. He shuffled uncomfortably, trying to hide them.

“Hey, you! You want some drugs?”

He whipped around, where a shorter human girl was grinning up at him, face coated in dust and short blond hair covered in grease. He rolled his eyes and smirked back.

“Yleen. Rif.”

“Hey.” The boy behind Yleen nodded, chubby cheeks bouncing slightly with the movement.

“Hey. Seen the tourists? Nice shoes, right.”

“Yeah… Nice.” Bodhi whispered, eyeing her own feet. They were encrusted with filth, her pale skin tone unrecognizable under the layers of dust and sand, fingernails almost black.

“So… D’you actually want some drugs? Because I don’t have them, but I have a great target that might or might not be on drugs.”

“A resident.” Bodhi scoffed, pulling his hair back into a tail, using a small stripe of cloth from his pocket to hold it back. His mother had been telling him to cut it for quite some time now.

“It’s Dig. He’s baked. And without a leg. He can’t get very far.”

The boy’s hands froze before tying the final knot.

“You wanna target Dig?”

“He’s a good one.” Yleen murmured, casting her gaze downwards. For all of her projected confidence, she seemed to be at least a little uneasy about this. He was glad.

“I didn’t expect her to go that low either” the other human boy spoke up, shaking his head with faked disappointment. Yleen’s mouth started moving almost comically, opening and closing and biting lips, until she huffed.

“He wouldn’t mind. He would probably laugh.”

“Dig’s Dig. He would get mad and chase at us until he realizes who exactly got his stuff. And then he’d laugh and high-five us.” Rif considered. He had his hands in his pockets, shoulders relaxed. He was evidently the most at peace with the course of action.

“And let us keep the stuff.” Yleen finished. “He would do that.”

“Fine.” Bodhi conceded. “Let’s go then.”

Yleen and Rif both grinned simultaneously, and the smaller girl took the chance to run while Rif and Bodhi chased after her, shouting in protest.

They approached their target carefully. They were used to it. One old lady glared at them from her window when they passed in front of it, hanging from an unoccupied balcony of a shady tourist inn and climbing over the bars to reach the roof. Bodhi waved at her, not needing to check to know both his friends were doing the same. She closed the window immediately later.

Making one last effort to pull himself over the edge of the roof, Bodhi collapsed on the dust, chest heaving, and opted to ignore Yleen’s teasing grin. He was back on his feet barely a second later anyway, following the others to the edge.

“So he’s there, in the alley.” Yleen whispered. She didn’t really need to keep her voice down, he thought - if she was right about Dig’s current state and location, he was probably not lucid enough to even notice them while they were at ground level, let alone on a rooftop.

“I say we jump, grab as much stuff as we can, and run.” Rif suggested, straying away from the edge. His friend was still afraid of heights, as ever.

“Are you kidding me? That’s total Dig textbook. You can’t steal from a guy copying him. Bodhi, please provide a better idea than this idiot.”

“We could… Uh…”

“Before the Temple falls over, thanks!”

“Hey, you’re the one who picked the target, you could at least have an idea yourself!”

“I thought-”

“I have ideas, but you always complain I decide too much stuff, so now you get your own!”

“Maybe-”

“We got our own ideas, but you still don’t like them, so-”

“So how about instead of complaining-”

“Guys!”

Both children fell silent, and Bodhi tried to pretend his chest wasn’t falling too rapidly. They both blinked at him, before Yleen’s pale face contorted and she started screaming again.

“Don’t yell on the rooftop!”

“You’re yelling on the rooftop-”

“You started yelling first!”

Bodhi sighed, giving up on pacifying them through traditional means and tackling the two of them down. Yleen might’ve been more adept at fighting and Rif physically stronger, but he still had enough force and the element of surprise on his side. They all ended up on the ground, a mass of limbs and aching moans suppressed by Bodhi’s hands clamped over their mouths.

Yleen pushed them off first, climbing with a fit of rebellion.

“Fine. We jump down, grab his stuff, and leave. If he’s as stoned as I think it won’t be a problem.”

“What if he’s not stoned?”

“Seriously, in that alley? Of course he is.”

“We could tie him up.”

There were exactly three seconds of silence, in which Bodhi could admire his work. Two very confused, very surprised friends, who then started chuckling.

“Sounds great. So, do we go?”

“Yeah, we go.” Bodhi offered a weak smile of his own,

“I’ll go first.” the smaller girl predictably whispered, about as quiet as a merchant trying to get someone's attention in a bazaar. She jumped from the roof with a small squeal, and Rif soon followed, Bodhi trailing a step behind.

"Hey, what is this-"

The man fell to the ground, Yleen's kick unexpectedly strong. That was what happened to those who underestimated the children. This guy was evidently new in the area. No one else tried to disturb them, although they attracted a few curious stares from the few who were still lucid enough to recognize outsiders.

Everyone else was long gone, their eyes hazy and unfocused, pupils dilated or scurrying around. Some of them were so still they could have been mistaken for corpses; some of them probably were corpses; others were trembling uncontrollably, staring into the distance with terrified eyes.

Bodhi hated this neighbourhood. He hated this alley. There were too many lost people in ths alley. No one ever came here to be happy. They came to forget, hide, punish themselves, run from their problems. They came when they had given up.

Rif gently pulled his arm, careful not to startle him. The older child didn't love the area either, but he knew Bodhi was the one to have the most problems with it.

Dig sat against the wall, slumped back, but too tense to be relaxed. His pupils were blown wide, trembling so slightly they seemed to be immobile at first glance. His arms, smudged and encrusted with dirt and sand, and Force knew what else, lay abandoned in his lap, hair matted and uncared for. Yleen was confidently walking towards him, the hesitation in her step only evident to her friends.

No one tried to stop her as she pulled on his jacket slightly, or as he detached from the wall and slumped forwards. With a little frown, Bodhi realized he was too far gone to even realize he was being manhandled, or maybe just too gone to care. He approached with all the confidence he could muster, sticking both hands in Dig’s pockets, looking around and taking out every bit he could find inside. There wasn’t much more than a few coins, some packets of processed food, and a bunch of satchels Rif detached from his belt.

With a small nod to Yleen, he took a step back. The girl sighed, but took out her knife and vial without any hesitation. She sliced his arm slowly, three parallel lines along the ones that were already fading on the caramel skin. The three of them knew they were there, even though they couldn’t see them at the moment. Blood rushed out immediately and the girl guided it to the vials with expert precision.

He had taught her how to. He had taught all of them, but Yleen was the only one who could do it comfortably.

“Take his shoelaces.” she murmured, without looking either of them in the eye. Bodhi took quick care of the removal, leaving the shoes on his feet. A small act of kindness, maybe, but he could still pass it as opportunism; finding someone who wanted broken shoes was way more trouble than it was worth. He eyed his belt for a second, then decided to leave it. Dig still didn’t deserve all of this.

He wasn’t the only one feeling uneasy, he noticed, as Yleen bit her lip for a moment and quickly covered up the wounds before they left. Someone tried to stop them, he could hear yelling, he could hear running, indignated voices that lacked the clarity of lucidity. He didn’t care. All three of them were long gone, climbing back the same way they had arrived.

“Okay, we’re never doing that again.” Rif murmured on the roof, then grinned. “That mood got way too sombre. I’m not into stuff like that. I say we avoid people like Dig, you know? That will just be… awkward.”

Yleen furrowed her brow for a moment, huffing a small ' _tch_ ' of irritation, then smirked and put the vials back.

"No, that was great. We should do that again. I bet we can fetch some great prices for the blood from some hungry Gand, if you get what I mean. It will be even sweeter than usual if he took the good kinda stuff."

"Dig doesn't take the good stuff. Dig doesn't take stuff at all." Bodhi whispered, playing with his fingers and trying to keep his voice down. He was too tired to properly argue.

He looked at his shoes. They were even dirtier. It was hard to tell, but he had probably stepped in a puddle of something he should have avoided.

"Yeah, well, now he does, so he's as valid a target as any." Yleen growled, irritated. She closed her eyes and seemed to count in her head. Bodhi thought she was counting in her head. It was what he would have done. "If it makes you feel safer, or more secure or whatever, next time we can target those tourists that are stupid enough to walk into our homes. Hey, maybe even go on the main street."

"I didn't know you were feeling suicidal lately." Rif joked, finally getting a smile from all of them.

"Pfft, nah. Just like losing a hand I suppose. What's the punishment for robbery again?"

"You don't wanna know that. Trust me."

"Hand? Branding? I get them all jumbled up constantly. Your mom would get really mad if we were to get caught, wouldn't she?" she asked, grinning mischievously. Her tone was perfectly innocent, although Bodhi knew she was provoking him. He had started feeling sick at the mere mention of the possible consequences.

"Hey, don't make those kinda jokes, you know he feels bad."

"Yeah, sorry kid. Forgot you have a loving mom that still thinks you're playing around with friends. You can stop coming with us if you want. Imagine the heartbreak if she were to ever discover that her only son is robbing people and selling their blood to gross aliens."

"Hey, I take that comment personally." Rif whined, and Bodhi smiled. It was nearly impossible to stop Yleen anyway. If she wanted to be like that, she would, there was no way to avoid it.

"Then how about I tell my mom you guys don't want to eat with us today and can fetch something for yourselves?" he grinned. They both went pale at the comment.

"Hey, you wouldn't do that!" Yleen protested, and Rif was evidently trying to hold back a smirk as he side-eyed her.

"Of course he wouldn’t, now shut up and be quiet before he actually gets angry and does it.”

“I’m not that petty!” Bodhi chuckled, tucking his hands in his oversized pockets and playing with the array of trinkets inside. “Now we better go, unless you like your lunch cold.”

The three children giggled for a moment, then raced each other to the apartment.

* * *

"Sit down and wash your hands, everyone." the voice floated from the kitchen. She didn't really need to shout, they would've probably hear it anyway through the paper-thin walls. The children scurried to the small room, sitting at the square table. Their shoes were off, as were the upper layers of clothes. Yleen had taken her tunic completely off, only wearing a pair of trousers. Her chest was still mostly flat, puberty not yet a concern, despite being already twelve, an age where Bodhi figured most girls would start maturing. Neither of the boys minded, and if they did, she would've probably just laughed in their faces.

"So what did you do today? Had fun?"

Bodhi almost choked on his own lunch. He avoided his mother's gaze as he nodded shyly, food suddenly much less appetizing than before, but neither Rif nor Yleen were anything less than enthusiastic.

"A lot of fun! We went around climbing the buildings and following the smaller paths." Yleen squealed, innocence personified, and Bodhi prayed with his every fiber that his mother wouldn’t notice the underlying sarcasm.

"We accidentally ended up in some scary areas too, but ran away. We're fast, you don't need to worry, ma'am! We're lightning fast. Nobody will ever catch us."

Out of the corner of his eye, Bodhi noticed his mother furrowing her eyebrows in concern. His heart stopped beating for one minute, suddenly realizing the very real possibility that his mother could understand what they were really up to, or inquire about the exact details of their adventures, or somehow reveal that she knew all along, and forbid him from going out again. But she did none of that. She took another spoonful of soup and swallowed.

"Just be careful, yes? I'd like you children to avoid the smaller streets, but especially the main ones. I don't like the number of soldiers around here lately. They're starting to take over a bit too much of the city."

"Yeah, we'll be very careful, miss Rook." Rif nodded. He was the slowest out of all of them in eating his soup. Both Bodhi and Yleen had already finished their bowls, with his mother almost done.

"Rif, honey, don't you like that?"

"I do! I really do. I just... I don't have much of an appetite." the boy mumbled, very interested in the soup all of a sudden. He took a few more spoonfuls, barely moving his hand or parting his lips, under the careful watch of everyone, before their attention relaxed and Bodhi's mother started taking away the empty dishes, leaving the children alone.

"You either eat that soup right now, or I'll force feed it to you." Yleen growled under her breath, jabbing a finger towards the much larger boy. Bodhi shook his head, but didn't move to defend him.

"Please eat. It's important." he asked instead.

"I'll eat!" Rif stage whispered, then quieted down enough to avoid being heard by anyone other than his friends. "I'll eat. Stop pestering me, I'm doing it."

Both the children stared long and hard, but neither said anything. The boy struggled with the soup for a few more minutes before bringing it to the sink, dumping the contents of about a quarter of the bowl. Bodhi saw, but pretended not to notice; if Yleen noticed, she didn't bother to comment either.

"We heading to finish up?" Rif asked, rubbing his hands on his already lurid trousers. Bodhi was quite sure he was only making them dirtier, but he wasn't the best example of avoidance of that particular behavior.

"Yeah. Ma'am, we're going out to play some more! Be back soon!”

“Be safe! Have fun!” his mother yelled, and for some reason, Bodhi discovered he quite wanted to cry.

* * *

The three of them had been out in the main streets for over an hour now. There were stormtroopers walking around in all colors, but mainly of that blinding white that did not belong in the dirt and sand of Jedha. It was wrong. It was fake, too new, too clean, nothing like the mud and the noise and the ancient Temple of the Whills, whose Guardians watched over everyone. It was a sore in the complexive vision, and it was a bad sore. Stormtroopers could hurt. The Empire could hurt. Bodhi realized just how small the moon he was standing on was, just how easy it would have been to kill everyone and eradicate the planet from the surface of the galaxy. Just how easy it would have been to shoot three dirty, defenseless children and leave them to rot on the street.

He shrunk as much as he could, holding to Dig's shoelaces like a lifeline. No one wanted them so far. Of course no one wanted them. There were so many merchants around here, with respectable stalls and shops. He was sure half the people that looked at him thought he was either a beggar or a thief. Not that they would've been wrong with the latest assumption, he realized.

"Excuse me, do you need a pair of--"

"Look, whatever you stole, return it to the original owner before one of the 'troopers sees you. I want nothing to do with you little street rats." The stranger pushed past him none too gently.

He blinked, arms falling at his sides.

"Keep them."

He startled at Yleen suddenly speaking from behind him. "Wha- what?"

"Keep them. You need new shoelaces anyway. You're about to have a fucking panic attack and nobody wants them. Plus, Dig would've wanted you to have them."

"Can we stop talking about Dig as if he were dead?" Rif sighed, joining them and cracking his back with a few stretches.

"He's not, and he's gonna hand our asses to us if he finds out." Yleen wasn't smiling, but it somehow wasn't tragic. It wouldn't have been the first time their mentor decided to punish them for utter stupidity. “Come on, put the shoelaces on.”

Bodhi played with the strings in his hands for a moment, examining them. They were dark brown and just a little dirty. Not broken in any way. They made his shoes seem like less of a disaster, at the very least.

“What are you doing?”

He froze.

That voice was too deformed by closure and electricity to be anything else but a stormtrooper. He whisked around to face the imperial soldier - he was looking over them, rifle in his hands. He didn’t know whether it was charged or not.

He could hear his heartbeat pulse in his ears.

“What are you doing on the market?”

He opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came out. The man looming over him was expressionless, his face completely masked by the white armor. He couldn't even know whether he had already decided they were out for no good.

"Just playing around, sir! Is there any problem?"

The white helmet shifted to Rif, observing the bigger boy.

"A duo of twi'lek children has just been denounced for thievery."

Bodhi released a sigh or relief, noticing Rif do the same out of the corner of his eye. Only Yleen didn't. Yleen took an abrupt breath, nostrils flaring and fists balling up.

_Oh, Whills, no._

"Well, last I checked we were not twi'lek. Get your grubby Empire hands out of this Holy City, there are authorities to deal with it already. Things were always going right before you came." she hissed through clenched teeth, attempting to stare directly into the ‘Trooper’s eyes.

The Stormtrooper was an inscrutable as ever, but Bodhi was sure he wasn't pleased. He lightly lifted his rifle, nudging it against Yleen's side. The girl stood perfectly still, head raised as high as she could to glare the mask directly into its eyeslits.

_The Force is with us, we're one with the Force and the Force is with us, we're one with the Force and the Force is with us, we're one with the--_

The stormtrooper finally tucked the rifle away, and the two boys released theip breath they had been holding.

"There are eyes everywhere. Be careful."

"Bet you we will, filthy..." Yleen started to mumble, losing the last words to the two pairs of hands that immediately clamped over her mouth. The trooper either did not notice, or simply opted to ignore them.

 _Thank you,_ Bodhi mentally whispered to the Force.

"I don't think it's a good idea to stay here for much longer." he finally breathed out, letting go of the squirming girl. Rif did the same, then nodded.

"Let's go. I'll head back to my place."

Bodhi really wanted to host them both, but he knew it would have been a terrible idea. They were both perfectly capable of surviving by themselves, on the streets, and his mother could barely afford to sustain the two of them anyway. He dragged his shoes on the gravel, admiring his new shoelaces, much cleaner than the rest of the leather.

"See you tomorrow then? Or do you want to hang out tonight?"

"I'm sleeping tonight. If you wanna hang out, it'll be just the two of you." Yleen interrupted before Rif could get in a word. The boy shrugged, raising his hands in surrender.

"I suppose we're sleeping tonight, then. You could still sleep with us, if you want to." he added after he saw Bodhi's small pout. The younger boy lit up.

He didn't usually spend the night out - it worried his mother too much. He could understand, and it wasn't too comfortable to begin with, but he loved it. He loved the stars above his head, loved lying on spare blankets that were way too ragged and smelly, loved talking with his best friends til the life in the city quietly died out as everyone went to sleep, and even after that. And for how hateful and annoying it was, he loved waking up to shouting in his ear and water trickling down his forehead, or stirring awake with the soft light of the sun rising if he got lucky enough.

Rif and Yleen both smiled, shaking their heads. He realized he was probably wearing all of his thoughts on his face like a puppet theatre mask.

"I'll take that as a yes," Rif smiled, patting him on the back. Grinning back, Bodhi started running towards where the two were staying at the moment, attracting a few stares from passerbies and two indignated cries as his friends followed him.

Later that night, broken shoes set aside and empty packets of rations abandoned near the wall, they fell asleep laughing under the stars. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, it has taken forever, but this story is somehow the first one I've been obsessing over in years?? I edited this for days, save me.

_It is your duty as a citizen to report any fugitives or criminals. Do your part in upholding the order!_

_Your Empire needs YOU! Join the piloting program, and serve the Galaxy!_

_Order comes through union. Report rebels for execution, for the strength and peace of the Empire!  
_

Bodhi shook his head at the passing posters. The signs lit up the entire city of Jedha at night, just like the slogans scrawled on pieces of paper to read during the day, in every script known to the moon. Not that he could read most of them, none besides Jedhan itself. The only reason he knew how to read was thanks to a very attentive mother, and a couple of very kind Guardians with time to spare, now that the Temple had been destroyed.

"Hey, dork."

He whisked around, holding a hand to high five his friends, and giving a gentle slap on the shoulder to the alien accompanying them.

“Mami hasn’t eaten yet by the way, you have anything decent?”

“Sure,” Bodhi smiled, rummaging in his satchel for scraps of food.

“Uh, I think I only have dried meat, but there’s also a little fruit?” He offered a string of fruit leather to the Tarasin, whose scales turned white in delight.

One day Rif and Yleen had come to his street, waited for him like every other time, and introduced Mami to him, with a finality in their eyes and speech. The Tarasin had tagged along in their adventures since then, quickly learning all of their secrets. The best places to steal from unsuspecting victims, where it was easier or safer to climb, how to avoid Stormtroopers and the local police. What monks would smile at xir and help xir grab something to eat if xe was hungry. Not to approach the crazy mercenaries. All three children had laughed as xe fell from buildings and fallen silent in terror when xe got in trouble with authorities, but they soon learned everything there was to know, and loved tagging along in their little adventures as much as any of them.

“I have business in the market, so I’ll be there today. If you don’t feel like risking it, you can just go gather in one of the alleys,” Rif announced, earning two coordinated headshakes.

“No one stays alone in the market,” Bodhi grinned, and Yleen mumbled accuses of craziness.

“Mami isn’t coming, though.”

“Oh, xe is.”

“Xe needs to learn,” Bodhi confirmed, chuckling when the larger boy shuffled uncomfortably. He probably shouldn't have been so carefree about starting to think like Yleen, but for the first time in all the years they had known each other, he felt comfortable around her. Rif hadn’t bothered to hide how their new shared ideas scared him - all those late night grumblings of how the Empire ought to go down and someone should organize a revolution now.

“Just keep xir close. And don’t approach me,” Rif finally sighed, rubbing his eyes in distaste.

* * *

 

The market was as rowdy as ever, but there was an underlying atmosphere of terror. Bodhi wasn't sure when it had started, but he did know it had grown silently, until it seemed almost normal. It was carefully hidden in the more careful transactions, in the waver of voices when an Imperial passed by, but most of all, in the absence of children that usually characterized the place.

“This place used to be _seething_ with street rats,” Yleen hissed under her breath. They were really growing too similar.

“Well, we’re here,” he huffed under his breath, tracking the movements of one white helmet from the corner of his eye. Yleen rolled her eyes.

“Not funny.”

“It was a little funny,” he said out loud, snickering. She smiled back and pushed her hair behind her shoulder. The only betrayal in her relaxed posture were her fidgeting habits, and those, only the three of them knew.

Mami's body language, though, was a different story.

Xe were trying to hide xir discomfort with a relaxed human language, but anyone who had ever seen a Tarasin could read xir like a book. Their skin was blotched in shades of black and yellow, their discomfort and effort to distance themselves from the situation painted on their face. Bodhi shifted slightly closer and caressed their back in an effort to calm them down.

All they could do was hope that none of the Imperials could interpret the alien’s body language for what it was, and question them.

“Hey, you, right there, stop!”

Bodhi’s heart skipped a beat in his chest, then slowly resumed its course when he realized it wasn't meant for them. It was too far, buried in a quickly gathering crowd.

Yleen and he only exchanged a quick glance before running towards the source of the commotion, anxiety knotting their breath in their throats. The moment they spotted the cause of the chaos, Bodhi cursed with what little breath he had left.

Mami’s colorful scales violated his vision field, shifting between alarmed pinks and browns. The human boy pushed them aside, trying to get a spot in the overwhelming mass of onlookers, but a small dash of blond hair rushed past him.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-_

“Let him go!” Yleen shouted, pushing a much larger soldier away and squeezing her way through the mass. Bodhi hesitated the slightest moment, then rushed to follow her, forcing his way past the heavy bodies and the confusion, trying to remember how to move when he was being pushed in every direction and surrounded by so much noise and chaos and _panic._

Rif was backed against a wall, along with three other humans. Two women and a man. A Stormtrooper’s rifle switched between the four, held them in check. Two others were tearing apart satchels and backpacks, throwing recording discs and files and weapons in a pile.

 _Rebels,_ his mind supplied, and he was in the line of fire.

“Let them go!” a voice shouted, Yleen shouted. She launched her small body towards the armed Imperial, kicked him in the shoulder hard enough to topple him over. Two pairs of white hands forced her to the ground. She landed shrieking, fighting.

Bodhi didn't move. He could feel another rifle digging in his back.

Suddenly, he grew aware of all the eyes. There were not only Imperials ready to kill them, but a whole town of commoners, merchants, tourists, all looking on to their impeding execution.

His heartbeat moved upwards, until his head was pulsing in rhythm.

There was a rifle pointed at his back. His hands were dirty. They were trembling. He was trembling.

His throat was dry. Like the sand. There was sand in his shoes.

“I- I-”

And like a knife through the haze, Yleen screamed again, and the seconds sped up once more, the rhythm of his heartbeat became too rapid, and there were too many stimuli at once. “Let. Them. Go!”

From the corner of his eye, Bodhi noticed Rif’s eyes shining with tears. He shook his head.

He was dying like this.

“Please-Please, she's not involved. I- We don't have anything to do with this, we-we didn't know. Please just. Let me  let her go, she’s not involved in this. I-I am not either. Please just. Let me bring her away.”

“How dare you, you’re going to stand by and watch while they-mfhmf!”

The ‘Trooper had restrained her. Bodhi sighed in relief. He had a slight chance of fixing things at least for one moment.

“Do you know these rebels?” the robotic voice asked. He had no idea who it was. He hadn't realized it could be so terrifying before.

“We don’t know them, I-I swear, we have nothing to do with them!” he pleaded, slowly moving to his knees. Less threatening, less threatening, just appear more submissive and-

“Shoot them.”

“No, please, just, please,” he frantically pleaded, trying to make contact with one of the charging Stormtroopers, “we’re not Rebels, we’re not, we- Search us!”

The soldier that was aiming directly at his head halted, as did slowly all of the others.

“Search us?" he repeated, "They-they have weapons. All of them did, yes? We are innocent, I swear, we-”

“Shut up," ordered the voice behind the mask, “Search them.”

Yleen’s muffled cries of outrage grew stronger as two of the Stormtroopers inspected them none too gently. 

Bodhi almost took a small sigh of relief when his guard let him go - then the other dug a gloved hand dug in Yleen’s pocket.

The knife.

It was a self defense weapon, under any other circumstance they could have justified it as such, just a young girl carrying a knife to defend herself from the villains that roamed the streets of Jedha City at night - but now, now it was just a weapon, and any weapon meant certain death.

Force have mercy on their souls, they were going to _die._

“Clean.” the Stormtrooper announced, motioning for their release. The squadron’s captain gave a single nod, to the inspector. Still holding her mouth shut, he dragged her and Bodhi away, the crowd opening to let them pass.

The last thing the boy heard before the mass of bodies engulfed his field of vision was a clear order.

“Shoot the Rebels.”

And the shots rang out.

* * *

The journey to wherever they were led in the end was both the longest and briefest Bodhi had ever taken. He dragged his feet along, an automatic response to avoid falling face first onto the dust and sand, as the Imperial soldier dragged both him and Yleen from their collars, turning into one narrow alley after the other with hurried steps.

It passed by in a haze of buildings running in front of his eyes, over before he could even remember to have blinked, yet somehow too distant from the events that had just perspired. It had probably taken hours, it felt like hours at least, even though it felt like no time had passed at all.

The Stormtrooper took another turn - how many alleys had it been? He had lost count - before stopping, letting go of both children. Bodhi blinked, or at least he thought he did, trying to understand where they were, if they were going to be executed secretly - of course, Rebels would not be tolerated, they were probably going to die in a dark, unknown side street of the Holy City-

“Will you shut up already!”

He blinked again, realizing that his ears were hurting. Someone had been screaming - Yleen? All the way, or just now?

“Fuck you, he’s not even here.”

He blinked again, focusing on the more familiar voice. Yleen was near him, glaring down the taller man, fists clenched, eyes shining like she was about to cry any moment now, holding tears back with nothing but stubborn pride probably, she always refused to cry, clothes torn and dirty - what part of that was new?

“Bodhi, fuck, look at me, please.”

He blinked again. It was the Stormtrooper’s voce, it sounded too familiar now. He wanted to ignore it, but his head moved almost automatically to face him.

He blinked again, several times in a row.

“Dig?”

“Fuck, you had me so worried, I thought you were gone up high for a moment there.” Their mentor’s shoulders sagged in relief.

“How could you?!” Yleen screeched and the man tensed immediately again.

“I had no choice, I did everything I could, we were in public-”

“You had them killed! You had Rif killed, you didn’t save them!”

Yleen was crying, Bodhi realized. Amidst the screeching, and the furious punching, she was crying. Her voice was broken, there were tears running down her cheeks.

Yleen Swiftfoot was crying. 

Bldhi thought he should have reacted somehow, but none of them did. 

“I couldn’t do anything more than this. I thought I was going to lose all three of you - we were in public, we were surrounded by Imperials, I have no idea how we managed to save even the two of you-”

“We?” Bodhi’s voice croaked. Had he really been silent that long?

The two paused, both their shoulders sagging.

“Yeah,” Dig whispered, his energy completely disappeared. “We. Marcelyne and I, we infiltrated them, wanted to keep them from finding anything and maybe get some useful data in the meanwhile too- but they found them and...” his throat bobbed. He was keeping his eyes closed. They had wrinkles around the corners. Was he that old already?

“And you let them die.” Yleen had stopped crying. Her eyes were still shining, her voice scratchy. She had screamed too much, Bodhi thought.

“It was either them or all of us.”

There was silence.

“Dig?”

“Yeah?” the boy answered, and Bodhi realized, he was indeed getting old. They started out when they were children, six, maybe seven, and he was in full adolescence, teaching them how to run faster and how to survive on the streets of a city that wasn’t kind to street children.

Had it actually been only eight years? It seemed so much longer, but he had never considered that their mentor was growing up, too. He was probably in his mid-twenties, and he looked already too tired.

Bodhi felt the emptiness in his chest begin to knot again.

“Are we difficult to raise?”

“What the fuck does that-”

“No.” Dig interrupted. “You aren’t the cause Rif died.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I know. You are bitches to try and keep alive, but you’re not guilty of anything.” Dig sighed. The final bits of tension seeped away from his shoulders and he sagged down against the wall.

Bodhi was reminded of when, two years ago, they had taken advantage of him in the very same position.

“Is he-”

“He’s dead. You’re in shock, you’re going to grasp things later, it will suck. It’ll be like a hammer to the chest while you’re floating on the strongest drugs available to this system. I’m going home. Deal with the rest yourselves. Sorry, kids.”

The knot in Bodhi’s chest started aching as soon as he turned around.

* * *

It was much harder than expected. His chest had started to hurt, and hurt more as he walked. He dragged his broken shoes in the sand, walking the path home without realizing where he was exactly. He had started to cry about halfway through, and at least four different groups of bystanders had stopped talking to stare at the wailing boy. None of them approached him. 

He stopped in front of his house.

If he went back in, he’d have to tell his mother everything. He couldn’t see Yleen anymore, and she would get worried, and yell at him, and cry.

Or maybe she would hug him and whisper that everything was alright. Maybe she would make things alright, somehow. She had already lost someone, she ought to know how-

“Bodhi!”

He blinked the tears away. His face was numb, but his cheek tingled.

“Come inside.”

“Mom-”

“Come inside.” she repeated, dragging him by his arm. He followed automatically, focusing on the hand holding him. It was warm, it was safe, it was-

“Sit down.”

The hand left him. He realized his sobs were getting louder by the minute, but there was no reason to stop. If it hurt so much, and he couldn’t even control his reaction, he-

“Bodhi, look at me. Look at me. I know what happened on the marketplace, okay? Mark told me everything. We’re fine, okay? We’re fine.”

_We’re not fine, we’re not, not fine, not at all, they died, he’s dead, he-_

A hand clamped over his mouth and he choked on words he didn’t even know he had been saying.

“It hurts,” he choked, clawing at his chest, and he felt warm hands wrap closer around him, envelop him in a hug, and everything around him was warmth and safety.

He cried until he fell asleep.

* * *

“Mami is fucking gone,” Yleen said instead of a greeting the next time they saw each other. She had come in front of his house and rained fists down the door until he had finally opened it and motioned for her to sit down.

“Where did xe go?”

“Well, if I knew, I wouldn’t be telling you xe's gone, I’d be telling you xe tried to run away and I fucking killed xir, wouldn’t I.”

Bodhi wanted to ask about everything that had happened when they left each other. He didn’t. 

She had no intention of talking about Rif, that much was clear at the least.

“Dig says his sources saw xir wandering about the main streets, but I wouldn’t be too sure. I mean, they can’t distinguish one Tarasin from the next.”

Bodhi pulled his lips taught, leaning back into his chair. He ran a hand over his face, dangled his legs. They almost reached the floor now, even when he tried to keep them up. 

They were both too tired. He wondered if this was what tired adults felt like all the time. 

“Speaking of Mark, mom knows of him and apparently has been keeping contacts with him.”

“Who the fuck is-- Oh. Are you…” Yleen trailed off, motioning largely with her hands, eyebrows arched. “...grounded?” she asked. Bodhi chuckled.

“I’m not in trouble. Somehow, I mean… she doesn’t think I did something good but she thinks it was bound to happen.”

“Oh yeah, poor kids in a city that only fucking cares about its rich, its foreigners, and the monks. What could go wrong in their upbringing.”

“Hey, Jedha is--” Bodhi began, only to trail off to Yleen’s amused expression. “The monks are okay.”

“Oh yeah, d’you know the guy who always hangs out with the blind Guardian? He used to be one, too. A Guardian going around with a rifle, can you believe that.”

There was a moment of silence, not comfortable, but not awkward. It was almost as if, Bodhi thought, the silence was speaking all the words they couldn’t say out loud.

“Is Dig in the resistance?” Yleen asked finally, and he raised an eyebrow.

“You’re the one who knows everything. Why am I supposed to know?”

“I think you know,” she mumbled, gaze trained on the blank, cracked wall in front of them.

“He’s been for a few years now. Almost four.”

“Figures. That’s when he started disappearing to fuck knows where.” Yleen sighed. Too long, too tired, she was barely fifteen. She looked like what Bodhi thought a weary warrior must have looked like. He started thinking of how to tell her that he was not joining, that it wasn’t worth it to die like that, not pressed against a wall and without a single bit of dignity-

“We’re not joining. We owe Rif that much. Nothing stupid, you get me? We find Mami, and we keep doing our usual shit. Just live on.”

Yleen stood up, sweeping her hair behind in the motion. It had grown past her shoulders - he was sure it was almost time to cut it again. She never had the patience to keep long hair. 

"We're probably going to have to keep a low profile for a while, or something. Stay safe. I'll be back with news." 

"Yeah," was all Bodhi managed to say. 

He could breathe for the first moment since the market. 

She stopped before reaching the door, and killed the wisp of hope. 

“I’m just afraid we won’t be able to remain neutral for long.”


End file.
